Inside the world of Eilish Constance

When Eilish Constance meets us, there’s a charming world that surrounds the late teen: bangles clinking, phone lighting up every few seconds with texts she doesn’t rush to answer, a big hair clip, while two loose braids are assembled and abandoned in real time. At only seventeen, she says she wants to be famous as point blankly the way people order their coffees, direct, no sugar, and without any doubt they will get what they asked for. She has a clear-eyed will to be seen, to be understood, to matter to people (even to those she’ll never meet). And it’s easy to believe her, or at least understand why she believes in herself. 

We jump from breakfast rituals, to crime psychology, to flea market lockets, to ghosts that may or may not be answering her questions about success by flickering the lights, her inspirations running from Victorian history to musicals to late-night police cam footage. Read on to dive into her mind.

Hi, Eilish. You just turned 17! Do you feel like a typical 17-year-old right now?
I definitely don’t. A lot of people my age would not only be going to school, but actually be focusing on school, and have a goal of going to college and getting a job. Since I don’t go to school, my sole purpose is just to make music. So I’m really lucky. I feel like growing up, school has always been like a damper on my soul. And so now that school has been lifted from me, it feels so much better. And I definitely feel like that brings me away from being, like, a kid. I feel like I’m actually doing it now. I looked up to Billie Eilish a lot. And she was homeschooled. 

Are you homeschooled now?
Well, I have, like, three and a half hours a week. Actually, I just finished one class. So I only have an hour or 40 minutes a week of school.

What do you think that adults misunderstand about being your age right now?
Hmm. I honestly think every adult that I talk to about my music praises me a little bit. For some reason, the teachers are very impressed by me. I don’t know if it’s a show they’re putting on or something. But I feel like adults around me hold this standard, this high bar above me. I feel like when people are younger, adults normally have no hope for them, because they’re young. 

Does that stress you out?
I don’t feel like it’s pressure. I just find it interesting that that’s how people view me. Which is fine, and I think I signed up for that, you know?

What does a normal day for you look like?
It changes every week. Sometimes it’s making music every day, sometimes I have sessions six days a week, sometimes I’m practising for a show. Some weeks are dedicated to just seeing friends. Right now, I wake up a little late. This is kind of early for me.

Sorry about that, lol! What’s your favourite part of the day?
I like waking up early cause I don’t get to rot away in my bed. I feel like that’s what a lot of kids tend to do. But I usually just wake up kind of late and… I really like breakfast. I usually have coffee and a bagel with lox and cream cheese. My favourite. And then my favourite part of the day is getting dressed — it’s really fun. And then I will spend some time with my brother or my mum, and then, maybe, watch a documentary. It’s really bad, but I’ve been watching these police cam footage videos, and I told myself I’d stop because it’s such bad energy, but I find them really interesting.

Yeah? What do you like about them?
I just like psychology. If I weren’t doing music, I’d want to go into psychology or therapy. In the police cam videos, I like the parts when they’re talking about crime cases. And they’re really deep. It’s like there’s one about a son, a mum, and a dad, and the mother finds a human head in his closet.

Oh, I’ve seen this one, I think.
Yeah, that’s the most popular one. It has, like, 35 million views. I really like crime because there’s so much psychology in the way people think, which is so interesting to me. And what tells them to do that? I notice it’s usually obvious mental health issues… It’s something I feel very strongly about for some reason. In these places where this happens, addiction is more normalised and gun laws are less harsh. And, mental illness… Nobody believes in that there. So that’s just a weird thing that I find cool.

Those videos are so intense. I understand how you can end up in a rabbit hole there. Going back to the getting dressed part, as you have such a cool style – what do you like most about getting dressed? Where do you get your style from?
My brother, his girlfriend, and my dad go to flea markets every weekend. I love vintage clothes and jewellery. I’m a very visual learner. Before music, I was into visual art because both my parents were visual artists, and that’s how they met. And getting dressed is a very visual, creative thing for me. Right now, drawing’s a little hard for me because I’m too self-critical, so it’s another way I can express myself through fashion. 

How would you describe what you like fashion-wise?
People call me a doll a lot, and I love that. That’s exactly what I want to be. My mum, when she was little, was compared to a porcelain doll all the time. She was kind of different from me — she has very pale skin and dark hair. I love having that connection with her because she was like a little doll when she was little. And so I kind of dress like a doll.

Cute. What’s your most treasured item and why?
Honestly, this shirt. It’s a funeral shirt, it says ‘in memory of my friend.’ It has a photo of the deceased friend, and on the back, it supports an animal shelter. So I think someone actually made it for a funeral and then donated in their name. 

Is there someone specific whose wardrobe you’d most like to raid?
Okay — my first reaction when you asked that was my brother.

Really? And that’s someone whose closet you can so easily raid.
Yeah. But the thing is, my brother has said to me multiple times that I inspired him with fashion, and growing up, I always had a special, unique sense of fashion, so I kind of inspired him that way. He took that, and he brought it to the next level. So I really think that’s cool. 

So what’s your favourite place on Earth? Do you have somewhere that you dream of visiting, or do you think that it would be a place that you know?
It’s a great question. I think there’s definitely a place that I associate with my brother a lot. It’s this cemetery in Burbank.

Is your brother alive?
Oh, yeah, yeah. But, I won’t get into detail, but your funeral, if you’ve ever heard that song by me, that’s about him. But we have this cemetery near our house, and we go there a lot. It’s really beautiful and peaceful. And Finn and I go there when things are maybe tense in our household or tense between us. It’s kind of like a reset. We also filmed the music video for your funeral there. 

Damn. I think a lot of people would answer like, a beach or something, you know what I mean? What about it being a cemetery gives you peace?
I feel like there are so many souls there, but they’re not really physically there. So it can ease your mind a little bit, so you don’t feel alone. Spiritually, we always have to learn that there are things that we can trust that we can’t see. So maybe if you believe in God, and if you believe in karma and stuff like that, then we all kind of have something to lean on to catch us. I kind of view it as this invisible force that I can trust. 

And —  I’m sorry if this is going off topic — but I really do believe in spirits and ghosts and stuff. I was raised in a household where we’d have mediums come over every other year and clear our house. And my brother could actually see ghosts for a while. And my mom’s mom died a week after I was born, so I’ve always looked out for signs from her. 

I actually had a question for you about spirituality — are you superstitious? Do you ever see ghosts?
I recently feel like I see things in the corner of my eye in my room. Oh my God, I had this really weird experience the other day — I was sitting at my desk, and there was a bag hanging on my lampshade, and it started swinging randomly. I was like, ‘Okay, this is like weird.’ So when things like that happen, I like to speak out loud to the universe, and I said, ‘Am I gonna be successful in music?’ And the light started flashing.

Really? Do you take that as a yes?
I literally got up, and I jumped, and I screamed — not because I was scared — but because I was so happy, because I believe in that stuff so deeply.

I can imagine that felt like a big deal. How could you have known if it was a yes or a no?
If it were silent, I’d probably be like, ‘Oh, the spirit’s not there.’

So it’s gonna be a yes either way. I love having a sign that’s just meant to be there. You’ll find it if you want to find it in that sense. Do you ever look back at things that you made as a kid and realise your style or your voice was already there?
Definitely. I was always a kid who stood out in school — I was like the weird one. Or I was like the one that everyone thought was really cool. There are a lot of memories of me never fitting in, and at the time, that was really hard for me. But now I really love it. And I think I’m kind of struggling a little bit to find exactly who and what I want to surround myself with, friend-wise. In the past month or two, I realised that I honestly do the best on my own. I was always able to connect with people within like groups, and I’ve been through so many close friendships, groups, and relationships. But I just realised it’s so taxing on me, and it doesn’t really help me grow. 

And you feel like that’s something that is still a defining thing about your music? Being the weird one?
Yeah, I try to carry that into my music. I try to be very different. 

What do you not want to be? What are you pushing back against?
I don’t want to be like anyone else. And I sometimes realise people nowadays who are in the public eye — who are around my age — take from other people and pull from other people’s imagery and sound. And I’ve never been interested in that. I actually want the opposite. So my biggest fear is to be perceived as someone who copies things. That’s what I love is like, I love vintage things. I love the Victorian age. I love history a lot. 

Well, you might find my next question a bit horrifying, because I’m going to compare you to someone (sorry). At first impression, your music made me think a little bit of Coco Rosie. In a way, this folky, non-traditional approach to singing or music reminded me of your music somehow.
I love Coco Rosie. I was so into them for a little bit. I’ve been trying to pull a lot of inspiration from them recently — they beatbox in their songs and stuff like that. It’s so interesting.

Who are your biggest musical inspirations?
The modern ones are Porches. I really like Imogen Heap — her voice, her melodies. I really love the Beatles, definitely. And right now I’m pulling a lot of inspiration from musicals.

What kind of musicals?
Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke. And Hans Zimmer has done a lot of good with scoring. I’m trying to gatekeep this, but I have this playlist with a bunch of Italian princess songs, with songs from the Sound of Music, Hans Zimmer, Lin-Manuel Miranda, some Russian Choir… 

Wow. I feel like musical music is always very upbeat. Is that a misconception? It’s either very upbeat and hopeful or really sad and dark. 

And if there were three utmost joy bringers in your life, what would they be?
I would say my family, music, fresh air. 

And on the flip side, what are your least favourite things?
Oh my God. I mean, there have been a lot of hard things that I’ve had to go through, and I view the world so heavily. I’ve always learned to gain something from it, and I’ve taught myself how to do that from a really young age.

I think my least favourite thing is — not disappointing — but not being loyal to my parents, and not helping them, and having them think stuff like that.

Sounds like you’re a poster child! Let’s talk about your new EP!
There are a lot of songs that are about relationships I’ve had. There’s this song called Hold my hand hunter. And that’s actually about multiple different boys. That was a fun one to write. And then there’s another one called Superstar, which is what I’ve wanted to be since I discovered what music was. And then there’s this one called BB gun, which is about a boy that I was close to that I really liked, and now we’re great friends. but the song is about a relationship that these two kids have (me and him) in a trailer park. And they were raised as very poor kids, and that kid really struggles in life — he wasn’t raised in a great household, and a lot of pressure was put on him. He struggled with his mental health. So he’s been on my mind a lot. I’ve written more songs about him than I have about anyone else. I counted and I wrote like 13 songs about him.

Well, it’s like a muse.
Yeah. I think I met him at the start of September last year. So that’s a couple of months. I really liked him, and we were never in an official relationship, but I really related to him. And he was like a person I was dreaming about for a relationship.

Classic to be in love with your best friend. Are they love songs?
Well, I just hope that people don’t know what I’m talking about. There’s a big period in my music where I was talking about drugs a lot. And this kid really struggles with drugs. And it was really heavy on my heart because I’ve had experiences with people who struggled with drugs.

Are drugs around you a lot?
Yeah. Well, a while ago. I’ve had people really close to me who struggled a lot, and I have struggled with drugs and stuff. Now I go to AA, a little bit. That’s also where I draw some of my spirituality because God is a part of your healing process for finding a higher power to look up to. 

What’s your biggest motivator to stop?
A big motivation of mine to quit is my parents. They give so much to me, and the least I can do is stay alive, stay well for them, and do a good job being a kid and make them proud. And of course, a big motivation for me to be sober is my career. My career means 100 times more to me than fun that lasts four hours.

That’s beautiful. Anything else you wanna share about your album?
I view projects as a good era in my life and a good representation of grouping memories. So yeah, just capturing an era and time in my life.

Yeah. It’s a good time capsule for later. I’m excited. And do you, I wonder, in five years, if we speak again, what, how will you look back on it?
Well, I obviously hope to be happy, and to continue making music, and I would love to be playing stadiums and, you know, going to the Grammys and being a public figure that people look up to. It’s another goal of mine that I’ve always wanted ever since I was young. 

For people to look up to you?
Yeah, and just to be somebody in the public eye, making it big and reaching a lot of people. For some reason, this past week, I’ve had a wave of people telling me that my music saved their lives, and every time someone says that, I believe it really strongly, because I’ve been through that, too. 

That’s beautiful. If there is one thing that you would tell your younger self, what would you say?
I would tell her that you are ten times more relieved than you were. I had so much stress and so much anxiety when I was, earliest, 6 and, latest, 15, and I never thought things would get better, and that I’d never get what I wanted, but I definitely have it now. This is what I’ve been searching for for a while, ever since I was young.